Gaze of a timid guy

He was sitting in the corner of his room, laying his feet on the table, which allowed him to see the room across him. It was not accidental; he wanted it to be that way. For there, he could see her effortlessly radiating her pale and soft skin, pointed nose, and tiny yet endearing frame figure. Her long black hair that cascaded into her chair complimented the color of her skin. Her mask and bold eyelashes highlighted her magnetic eyes. Though he could only see her side profile, it was enough to make him feel giddy.

He couldn’t control himself. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes would end up lurking in the other room, and thus, his heart would be creating sounds that harmonize exhilaration. He couldn’t believe it. It was like he caught a bolt of lightning in a bottle. Who could blame him? She was ethereal.

Nonetheless, it was the only thing he could do. Courage was out of his gut to approach her let alone, talk to her. He accepted it. It was not as if she would turn back the love he was feeling for her.

One time, he ran into her in the hallway. Their eyes met in a split second. But for him, it was like a minute or so. He couldn’t move his whole body. He was standing right there in dazed like a statue made of timidity and nervousness. For a while, he felt something peculiar. Something warm and soft. It was a sensation that electrified his nerves that eventually, intoxicated him. It was controlling his whole body, but he liked the way it made him feel. It was hot yet bearable. It was hysterical yet tractable. It was immobilizing yet pleasurable.

He blinked himself out of his stupor when he realized that she was speaking to him. He could barely hear her because he was still recovering from all the emotions he felt. All he knew was she was asking him if he was okay and feeling well. He did not know what to do or what to say. Nothing came out of his mouth but the three single words that proclaim his affection.

He was shocked. Not because of what he said but because of her response. He promptly looked into her eyes, hoping that her face would not betray her words. To his surprise, he was feeling butterflies in his stomach. He was utterly dumbfounded. Never did he think that someone would ever reciprocate his feelings. Even more so when she confessed that she was taking a glimpse of him every now and then.

After a few steps of walking and several minutes of conversing, he found himself standing with her in front of their respective rooms. He stared right through her eyes, and she returned the favor. Despite the mask covering his mouth, words of yearning were coming out of the fabric – seemingly craving for more time with her. However, he could do nothing. She could do nothing.

He entered his room with mixed feelings. As he sat down in the comfort of his chair, he deliberately met her gaze once again. But this time, it was not just filled with longing but also with the optimism that he would talk to her more and do something more with her anytime soon. He painted a smile on his face, then he broke his sight off her and shifted it to his laptop thinking, and telling himself, “If only there was no pandemic.”